SPOOF: Cat and Bardia (png image)

In a recent interview about the Bardia-Cat campaign, Cat Dunne revealed that she found her president by combing through lists of first-year econ class graduates.

"I had been searching for someone with that experience to match all of the experience I have," Dunne said. "I feel like those who have completed Econ 1000 are the perfect candidates."

The Western Gazoo asked Dunne why she chose Bardia Jalayer, whose experience in politics is non-existent.

"I'm gonna be honest here, he looked good in red," said Dunne. "I only have one red sweater, and he had three."

During the election, students on Reddit tore apart Jalayer for his lack of University Students' Council experience. His opponent, Frank Ye, was born as a genetic duplicate of Mitch Pratt to continue the legacy in the office. 

Jalayer said that he was absolutely thrilled to be in this position and that the choice was easy for him.

"Once I took a look at that salary, I knew this was the job for me," said Jalayer. "I took econ, so I knew that was a lot of money."

Dunne spent weeks looking for anyone to take this job with her.

"No one wants to be in this office anymore," Dunne said. 

Following first-years booing Mitch Pratt off the stage at O-Week, everyone learned that USC councillors are lame and no one wanted to work there anymore. 

"Bardia is my angel," Dunne said. "I really did not want to pull an Ocean." 

The team is set to take the office in May and is most looking forward to their plan to impeach Doug Ford. 



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