Nineteen-year-old Mr. Noodles-fiend Kevin Jevin microwaved a ramen package for a jaw-dropping 23 minutes before Saugeen-Maitland Hall's ninth-floor microwave combusted and set off the building’s fire alarm.
It was a new record for the third-year dance and geographic information studies student, who has attained a legendary status for his frequent run-ins with the London Fire Department.
“I think it was the switch to ‘spicy beef.’ My last run with ‘jalapeno pork’ only got me 20 minutes. This is a breakthrough for sure,” he told the Gazette, walking down Saugeen’s 18 flights of stairs.
Not everyone was so excited.
“I’m going to break through your eyeball with a chopstick, Kevin,” said a student a couple steps down.
Experts around Canada are baffled at Kevin’s marathon microwavings. Engineers swear the machines could not possibly withstand such high temperatures for so long; physicists have asked Kevin to observe the microwave in action, hoping to discover a new subatomic particle.
Kevin said he got into microwaving in October, when he got “extremely high” and watched a bowl of Kraft Dinner spin around through the microwave window for 11 minutes. It took another few minutes to realize that the flames were real and that Saugeen’s “Fire Alarm Fuckboy” had found his calling.
“It’s such a crazy story. This whole thing started out as an accident, but now I take it very seriously,” he said.
“He’s doing it on purpose?!” another student asked.